Life's Crossroads: Which Way to Go?
When there are no signposts to follow...
I’ve been reflecting on something significant, and this week, I want to share it with you.
A crossroads is a peculiar place to find yourself. Standing here, I can't help but ponder on the choices that lie ahead. There are no directions to follow, no signposts to consult, and certainly no assurances that the path chosen will lead to clarity, let alone contentment. Each direction is shrouded in its own uncertainty—the familiar gestures with its well-trodden comfort whilst the unknown whispers of possibility and risk in equal measure.
There's always that lingering fear:
What if the leap into the new undoes everything you've built so far?
What if regret is waiting just around the corner, ready to pounce the moment you let go of what you know?
I've found myself at this very junction lately—both professionally and personally. It's a strange sort of blankness, no matter how I try to turn. It’s like being lost in a fog where every direction looks similar.
In these moments, time seems to stretch like an elastic band pulled to its maximum limits, offering no timeline for resolution. It's as if the universe is holding its breath, waiting for me to make my next move, whilst I stand rooted, uncertain, in an enormous empty space.
Yet, I can't help but wonder if these crossroads are meant to be neatly resolved. Perhaps the haze isn't there to be lifted but to be moved through with each uncertain step. Maybe the unease is less a warning and more a gentle nudge—a sign that a new chapter is calling, one that will bring me closer to the person I am becoming.
Life's entanglements
Life, as I've come to see it, is like a labyrinth with its intertwining paths and layers upon layers of choices and consequences. The mind, with its endless ideas and doubts, stands firm on one side. Life itself, with its unpredictable unfolding, stands on the other. Both stubbornly hold their ground, each presenting their ideals, leaving us to ponder which side to choose.
Years ago, when I first qualified as a trainer, I was certain I'd found my path. For over two decades, it was exactly that—a calling and a comfort. But life, as it tends to do, steered me in new directions, both academically and personally. It's been a long, promising, and at times, challenging journey. Now, I find myself asking: where do I go from here? Do I dare to try something new, or do I pull back to the comfort of the familiar? One path demands the audacity to grow; the other offers the reassurance of what I already know.
The road ahead feels uncertain, the direction unclear, and the distance unknown. I ask myself if I should run impulsively into the unknown or cling to what feels safer. I'm yet to discover the answer—if there is a singular answer that is. But as I stand at this mental crossroad, I thought I'd share a few thoughts from my daily journalling which have helped me uncover some meaningful insights, in case you, too, find yourself here.
1. Why we find ourselves at crossroads
To be human is to evolve. Something I've understood from my journey is that we are not meant to remain static, either in our ambitions or our identities. Time and technology move forward, and so must we. If we refuse to shed our old skins, we risk becoming relics—out of step with ourselves and the world around us.
Through my daily journalling practice, I've discovered that growth is inevitable; we are always growing each day in some way. Feeling lost is, therefore, not a failing; it's an internal signal to something requiring your attention and a sign that the map you've been following wasn't yours to begin with. Think of it as a necessary part of changing direction as you grow—it's uncomfortable but essential. If anything, it would be odd not to change your mind, life, or direction as you evolve.
2. What we can and can't control
At the crossroads, it's easy to become obsessed with making the "right" choice, as if there's some secret answer we must continuously search for until it's found. But the truth is, so much is beyond our control. Outcomes, timing, the reactions of others—these aren't ours to command. I've spent a lot of time in this space, and as I mature, I realise more and more just how much we lose ourselves in things beyond our control. Although there's a lot, we don't have control over, we can control our willingness to move, to risk, and to adapt. Sometimes, not choosing is the only real danger.
3. Listening to your inner compass
There is a quiet kind of wisdom within each of us—a compass that doesn't shout but gently nudges. The unease you feel at the crossroads is often less a warning and more a call to growth. It's the soul's way of asking, "What's next?" Learning to trust those inner nudges is a skill and requires patience and courage—something I continually strive for.
I often think of Marcus Aurelius's words:
"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."
In other words, the obstacles and uncertainties that block our path are not just hindrances—they shape the path itself. The mind adapts, converting every hurdle into an opportunity to move forward differently. Rather than seeing the crossroads as a dead end, it may be more helpful to think of them as the very place where your new journey truly begins.
When the way ahead feels unclear, it may be because the obstacle itself is guiding you towards something new—something you wouldn't have discovered otherwise. So, trusting your inner compass means embracing the discomfort and knowing that what stands in your way could become the way forward.
4. Trusting your path, even when it's unclear
It's tempting to wait for certainty before acting, and I can't tell you how much time I've invested in such a futile endeavour. But certainty is a luxury rarely afforded at life's actual turning points. This isn't merely a viewpoint. Instead, it's a blend of experience and learning accumulated over two decades.
Betting on your potential and raising your bid with each step forward is the only way to discover what you're truly capable of. Thus, the path may not reveal itself until you're already walking it.
5. Why others can't give you the answer
Advice, however well-meaning, is limited by the perspective of the giver. No one else can inhabit your crossroads, feel your uncertainty, or sense your potential. The answers you seek are yours alone to find. Others can offer signposts, but only you can choose the direction. Even if you try to follow their map, you will circle back to the same crossroads.
Closing thoughts
Standing at a crossroads is uncomfortable, even frightening, and I will be the first to admit this.
Yet, it's also a privilege to have options, to be capable of change, and to be alive to the possibilities of your becoming. The road ahead may be uncertain, but that's only because it's yours to create. The only real regret is refusing to move and never truly finding the answer to your own "what's next."
Reflection
Something you may find helpful if you find yourself at a crossroads is the following considerations:
What if the uncertainty you feel is not a sign of failure but a quiet invitation to become someone new?
What would you do if you trusted that every path, even the wrong turns, would bring you closer to yourself?
I'll leave you to ponder the above.